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| dear whoever reads this,
for ages, i have spent my life being someone i know i'm not, just to fit in to society. i have been branded all sorts; cold, selfish, ignorant, shallow, weird, different etc. maybe i am these things, but the truth is nobody knows me and neither do i. i don't know anything about myself, i don't know my likes, dislikes, qualities, interests, personality, cons.all i can hope is one day i will, and i'll find someone who can show me who i am.
"i've spent ages reading books, wishing i was someone else" - me.
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| And for a moment we're alone. And we both know that we're trapped.
Breathe in slowly, Are you listening? On this muted block Everything is paused. Your glow, blinding, breaches my pupils.

My twisted imagination. It has a mind of its own. So wake me for this dream. My crooked precognition. Its distance from the truth grows. Please wake me from this dream.
it's like you know the words but you can't hear the music You've lived a lie for so long, now you believe it You're shooting silver bullets and taking magic pills I'm asking you, do you know a way to delete my conscience?

From the bloodline of vicious serpents A dreadful heart within a lovely shell A demon's heart, but with the face of God
This is our last broadcast. We're recklessly looking for the truth, and we'll tear this place apart. There is hope for us yet. Hope is there.

Little soul, your dreams are waiting Grab them up, hold them closely Never let go Never let go
So tie a rope around my neck, pull it tight Until it breaks. You can't kill us We will never fucking die.

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| birthday on monday :) sweet seventeen
in the silence it became so very clear that you had long ago disappeared and i cursed myself for being surprised that this didn't play like it did in my mind
It's a lovely summer's day And I can almost see a skyline Through a thickening shroud of egos Is this the city of angels or demons?
 
welcome to the museum of the dead; endless gore becomes reality
You can't swim in a town this shallow You will most assuredly drown tomorrow 
And me, I'm in my bedroom drawing in my notebook Because my hand thinks I'm an artist But my heart knows I'm a poet It's just words, they mean so little to me I can't seem to deal with total trust There is something very wrong with me so here i go to see the world with my eyes and with my soul and too much love, so little hate the devil inside won't control my fate

oh infamous city, full of turmoil, i'm terrified at your collapse the kings, they shudder with horror, their faces distorted with fear endless empires gently brushed away in the blink of an eye all creation, wilted. And me, I'm in the bathroom Crying out my eyelids because it's hard to be a man When you are scared like a little kid The world has become a little too mean And I can't see the point of patient love When everyone just wants to get fucked 
With a perfect understanding of the finer things in life A quite alarming knack of knowing when to twist the knife if you feel discouraged when there's a lack of color here please don't worry lover it's really bursting at the seams from absorbing everything the spectrums a to z 
blind to the last cursed affair, pistols and countless lies a trail of white blood betrays the reckless route your craft is running. feed till the sun turns into wood, dousing an ancient torch loiter the whole day through and lose yourself in lines dissecting love. because if seeing is believing, then believe that we have lost our eyes 
when i took the blame we layed in ruins trying to quote your phrase we're yelling, "someone's got the answers, but i'd rather think there's nothing to be found"
i will avenge my ghost with every breath i take i'm coming back from the dead and i'll take you home with me i'm taking back the life you stole

we spent the night locked in the thrash zoo! we spent the night locked in the thrash zoo! elegant hands knit delicate plans
And in the end we'll fall apart just as the leaves change in colour and then i will be with you i will be there one last time now

toss me like a rope and hopefully you'll have their approval inside the imitation that I loath with the callow hands and the bad knees all suckers for the taste of illusion

Your face it dances and it haunts me Your laughter's still ringing in my ears I still find pieces of your presence here Even after all these years spinning in circles holding hands the world is a blur except when you're standing 
you fell upon me like a plague weakness sweet weakness but i digress after all this... you're just like all the rest
when you feel your soul drop to the floor like a hole like an open bleeding sore then you'll have bled like i bled and you'll have wept as i've wept 
For a moment when the blare of the tv subsides And then song fills the air, playing every night A change in the key feels like a change in the season
I'll shout and I'll scream But I'd rather not be seen And I'll hide away for another day

And if they end it all by the end of tonight If the big bombs drop down over this quiet Edison sky We'll blow one last kiss to all the beautiful nights like this under the central jersey skies
I see my baby. She's starry eyed. I feel my bones break all the time. I see my baby. She's starry eyed. She follows. Don't call me unkind. 
you just keep on repeating all those empty "i love you's" until you say you deserve better i'm gonna lay right into you you're not hopeless or helpless and i hate to sound cold but you dont know what love is... you just do as your told
 These false starts, these small meals They're for my, for my starving hands Just treading, just treading shallow waters Avoiding the drop, the drop in the ocean floor
We will never sleep, 'cause sleep is for the weak And we will never rest, 'til we're all fucking dead

I started sending you a note on how I hope that you’re happy I hear you’re somewhere in the sand and how I wish I was an ocean maybe then, id get to see you again
Well drop me a line with a hook and some raw bleeding bait Well I'm uncaught and still swimming alone in the lake Shimmering under the moon made of anger and hate I was the one who was always repeating it Shimmering like a penny out of reach in the subway grate shimmering like a coin kept safe away, you’ll never listen to anything

You could never work well with our group Not with flaws we found So we've fixed you with cement galoshes And no one can save you now Even if you have friends among fish There will still be no air to breath You could drink up the entire ocean But we'll still find someone to be everything we know that you will never be.
Our legs begin to break We've walked this path for far too long My lungs, they start to ache But still we carry on I'm choking on my words Like I got a noose around my neck I can't believe it's come to this And dear, I fear That this ship is sinking tonight

Close your eyes There's nothing we can do But sleep in this bed that we made for ourselves You're trapped in your past Like it's six feet under
I'm sprinting yet I stride My satchel filled with vials The secrets of the tribe The cameras follow me for miles

They strapped me to the roof and they cut right through me Diggin' through my wounds I watched them hopelessly and choke
There's nothing here for me on this barren road There's no one here while the city sleeps and all the shops are closed Can't help but think of the times I've had with you Pictures and some memories will have to help me through, oh yeah

When I am in the sea, You gaze down from the sky, trying to see me But I am just a blur, Through the waves as I scuba dive below the harbor
When I'm alone at night, I dream you paint the stars against the twilight, Suspended in the air I wish your silhouette would always stay there

I am married to your charms & grace I just go crazy like the good old days You make me want to pick up a guitar And celebrate the myriad ways that I love you
Turn me back into the pet that i was when we met. I was happier then with no mind-set.

Check out all the people yeah they're queuing just for you tonight Didn't cost you much, and yeah you gone and got the lime light Well just hide away and print the plans for us to dominate Maybe we should act, for now were gonna hesitate
Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here Here comes the sun, here comes the sun and I say it's all right

My stomach speaks to me in foreign languages and my abdominals have become artwork
So I stand in the sun, And I breathe with my lungs, Trying to spare me the weight of the truth

Seeing everything you've ever seen was just a mirror, Spend your whole life sweating in an endless fever, Laying in a bathtub full of freezing water, Wishing you were a ghost
Well, I'm a weak and lonely sort, though I'm not sailing just for sport. I've come to feel, out on the sea, these urgent lives press against me. I'm just a guest. I'm not a part, with my tender head, with my easy heart. These several years out on the sea have made me empty, cold, and clear. Pour yourself into me.

you’ve got flaws that you wont admit yet you tell me its a sin that I don’t believe in God... you traded in your cross for a chance to dance with stars now nothing is sacred
one week is a long time one month is a long time one year is a long time god damn, time takes it's damn time

you’re the only one i turn to when i feel like no one’s there and when i’m lonely in my darkest hour you give me the power to sit and pretend
i want so badly to believe that "there is truth, that love is real" and i want life in every word to the extent that it's absurd

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| She lives with a broken man A cracked polystyrene man Who just crumbles and burns. He used to do surgery For girls in the eighties But gravity always wins.
She looks like the real thing She tastes like the real thing My fake plastic love. But I cant help the feeling I could blow through the ceiling If I just turn and run
 I should have picked the photograph It lasted longer than you.
If you're Bonnie, I'll be your Clyde. But the grass is greener here and I can see all of your snakes. You wear your ruins well Please run away with me to hell.
 She wants my teeth to wear
She wants my hell to bear Well missy it's a lock for load If you wanna grind hips don't do it alone Don't save no dance no not for me Just cut me out
You crept up like a disease looking like a girl only trying to be saved Your heart was trying to bleed and you're taking the right road if you're talking to me

Well you thought you'd tear my skin from bone Just cause it was cold and you needed a coat
And you were there And I was every question that never had an answer I see right through you We never even noticed that There always was a reason That we were never meant to be left alone This feels like neverending

Boy it's tough getting on in the world When the sun doesn't shine and a boy needs a girl It’s about getting out of a rut, you need luck But you’re stuck and you don’t know how, oh
Tap tap on my windowsill and I won't let you in, no. Cheep cheep from a sparrow says you ain't gonna win, no.

Carve your name into my heart, better than a tattoo or a photograph. Put your face on a contact lens, only I have been to all the places we've seen and, Where am I gonna go gonna go it again
Help I'm alive My heart keeps beating like a hammer Hard to be soft Tough to be tender Come take my pulse the pace is on a runaway train Help I'm alive My heart keeps beating like a hammer Beating like a hammer

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| wasting the hours now, we're all suckers for tragedies, we'll start this over again, and you bring us to our knees.
so wait up, i'm not sleeping alone again tonight there's so much to dream about, there must be more to my life
< this envelope will represent my heart. i'll seal it, send it off, and wish it luck with it's depart. this stamp will be every action that carry my affection across the air and land and sea should i trust the postage due? to deliver my heart to you.the streetlights flicker and then they fade like every good intention that i've had pretty little birds all singing in the street few trees left, bare and shivering in this hollow bitter street
and our roles have been filled, as they should with hidden messages in secret songs this is my last breath of air if i could be anything, i would be medication for you and everything that you've done wrong if i could be anything, i would be one medal of honour for you and everything that you've done rightcall me pathetic, call me what you will just please don't leave my side you're so medicated you don't even remember my name well i'll bite my fingernails until it hurts no more to dig you out, to dig you out when we get out we get drunk and we get high and don't talk we just walk and walk and walk until we find ourselves alone but at least we've got each otherso take your cold, cold heart and drown and don't forget to take deep breaths. kill the directorcarrots help us see much better in the dark don't talk to girls; they'll break your heart and this is my head and this is my spout they work together; they can't figure anything out coin-operated boy, sitting on the shelf, he is just a toy but i turn him on and he comes to life, automatic joy that is why i want a coin-operated boy made of plastic and elastic, he is rugged and long-lasting who could ever ever ask for more love without complications galoreit's only a fabrication this place is all in my head and as long as it's okay with you i think i'll stay right here. i got no where to go cuz where to go is up to you, dear. happy as a clam i see the glimmer in your eyes. hold you through the night and watch that colorado sunrise.kill the lights,these children learn from cigarette burns, fast cars, fast women, and cheap drinks, It feels right, all these asphyxiated, self-medicated; take the white pill, you'll feel alright. you kiss me like an overdramatic actor who's starving for work with one last shot to make it happeninto my heart confusion grows against; the muscles fought so long, to control against the pull of one magnet to another. magnet to another, magnet. calm down, i'm calling you to say, i'm capsized, erring on the edge of safe.this life looks like a sentence, though a constant game of falling short maybe i would have been something you'd be good at maybe you would have been something i'd be good atstick your hands inside of my pockets, keep them warm while i'm still here. | | |
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